It's good to be the king.

Fuck I hate stress.


My weird hobbies involving other peoples lives delivered me a drug baby last spring to babysit. For months on end, I had this tiny man with me, who shook at times, cried a lot and spit up almost everything that was fed to him. The poor thing, the choices made by the mother kept my sleep in minimum for months and honestly, the hate his troubles arose within me are a new low.

The beauty of American social services was also shown to me. I had been registered as the care taker, but the babys relative called in and told the lady in charge the biological mom babysits him. Nothing anyone said or did mattered after that, they would not believe that wasn't true even if we could easily proof otherwise.

Anyway, straight after that I lost my house, or more accurately the quietness of my house to a visiting relative. For months on end listening and trying to mind an extra adult was almost as wonderful as I imagine being eaten by an alligator would be.

Finally when all that was dealt with, I was such a stress ball everyone in my household agreed I needed to go away.

Some people go to a beach, I write and drive. The combination works for me better than anything. I think it's the combination of not needing to take over others problems, and the feeling of being in control that works for me. Five days and my houlders move again, I keep smiling, and life is beginning to make sense again. I get to meet funny personalities and I get to meet strangers, friends,acquaintances and stop when I must.

I washed him all by myself, he was waxed by two kids who are the only canadians I've met who don't know where Seattle is.

Last night was a great one. An 800 km drive through rural areas, beautiful scenery and something to complain about. An all around win in my books. Ontario state (or province, damn words translate to the same to me) appears to be the one Canada should donate to an other country.

The furry police has worked in every other province here in a way that is almost perfect. I've had my fair share of scenery and speeds that shall not be told here, a few close calls were all my own damn fault and the people are unbelievably nice.

Then Ontario happened.

The speed limit on the highways is so low walking is faster, rd's are banned, and unlike the rest of this country, no one has informed people here how moose operate.

In other places, the known wildlife crossings are well known, they post a sign saying that, people slow down and all goes well. Here it appears the moose run around everywhere, and the signs are idiotic.

Had to be posted even if it's unclear. I spent the night trying to capture this text. At says this province has moose on the loose. Apparently the rest of Canada keeps them in cages.

Just as a suggestion to this state that hates speed so much it finds you with 10 000 ticket for going 50 over, I would suggest looking at a map. USA is on the other side of the border, stop copying them!

I also saw two police vehicles. That's two more than in all of the rest of the country combined.

Like the stop signs in Washington, the moose signs here have stopped working because of over usage. Sure, I realize there must be a fuck load of wild life here, but these herbivores take the same paths they've always done. Mark those and you'd be good to go!

Also, moose move in the dusk and dawn. Stop fucking telling us to mind them at night! They sleep!

So, bitchy and on a bad mood when I finally arrived to Thunderbay. The damn province had gotten to me, not finding a decent hotel was a hit, I felt like having a fit. Then two people happened.

I pulled up to the Marriot, had a nice chat with a guy about tuning and modding, he told me how he totaled his old Audi and the audi hater in me was glad to hear one less is blocking my way. A good example of my weird ways to see the world and meet new people, destressing at work.

Then this happened.

After finding the reception and an American walked in two seconds after I had gotten my keys.

The man had reservations mixed up, and because he was paying for this luxurious place "with my hard earned money" he was making a scene. The receptionist was really trying to get him and his two adult children the rooms he needed, I ended up giving him mine, the man was so damn obnoxious and rude, I had to take his picture while watching the show .

the poor man had a problem with everything, including the weird foods served in Canada. Everything naturally was the receptionists fault.he was the epitome of what we all think of you, and because I'm me, I started up chatting with him to learn how he ended up becoming him.

I could really make a living with my photography.

The word scared came up so many times I concluded he needs a chill pill. Smoke weed. Get laid. Take a walk. Something. Meeting him made me realize how fucking fortunate I am to be able to get away and get the stress off of my back at times. I would advice people like him to come to Canada, and to unwind, but besides Ontario this place has treated me so well I would never wish for you to be stuck with more folks like him.

This morning I was eavesdropping on a group of bikers talking about boats. Photos were shown, and since I didn't quite get what the guy was explaining, I went to look at one of shots.

I know, my manners suck. Normal people don't behave so. Instead of telling me to fuck off like i deserved to be told, we had a few words about fishing. Just now, when they were pulling away from the hotel I stopped them to take their pic next to my car. The lovely American was made to park next to me last night (by me, I wanted the photo I admit) so in the future when I feel like being a bitch, I'll just look at this picture. Happy, smiling bikers versus the memory of that idiot from last night. I do hope he slept well in my bed.

Anna

(oh, It's good to be the king is a Stargate episode, a good one. I would tell you all about it but sadly the geek in me knows it probably word by word so this post would get a bit long)

Cops and lawyers.

There isn't any.


After leaving a city or a town, you don't see them ever. Here things work like they do back home, a common sense is required.

The night before last while driving to the city that has a name, but no foreigner can spell or say it, I had probably the fastest four hours on the road I've ever done. Great roads, and great scenery, but the thing that I loved the most was the wildlife.

You can go as fast as you want to, I did, but be aware. on a straight with a any luck one can push a car to its limits, but there is no telling what will be behind the bend or a mini hill. In the four hours nine deers tried to fill my fridge, four of them made it all the way to the road. One of them should have ended up as my bumper ornament for my own stupidity.

My driving instructor, the old bat shit crazy man he was, said to me once that while out in rural areas, there are three rules to obey.

1. pull over to wash your window if bugs are the reason for doing it.
2. You will get killed if you forget the rule number one.
3. If you don't remember the rule number one or two, do please make sure your funeral has the good coffee to be served.

Yup, did it! I had about a million hits on the windshield, and yet I was idiot enough not to pull over to do the job properly. A deer had timed his attempt to leave this existence well, and this was the second time pure dumb luck saved my ass on this trip.

I'm used to animals and to speed, I truly know better than that to do things like that and yet ... Canada doesn't need cops since the animal patrols keep the traffic in check. Also, anyone who sees a car on a rural area that's stationary is apparently required by etiquette to pull over and assist if needed. this is good practice, before last night I hadn't changed a tire for ages.

The two cops I've talked with here have given me the same philosophy we use back home. If you fuck up, you will be the one dying in the ditch and nobody hears you crying. Keeps shit safe, I'd say.


the main event of yesterday was meeting a man who drives a Honda Civic.


we had a lovely but fast breakfast and he was so impressed with the state of my bumper he told me to go wash the car and myself. From our breakfast I have very few recollections since it all happened before coffee. He has been so impressed with my excellent skills in taking care of myself, he made sure I had a belly full before leaving his beautiful home city that can not be spelled.

it's hilarious how lucky one person can be with the people they meet. Mr Honda is an excellent example of a truly great man, who has enough life experience to come up with great lines I can quote. Having a conversation with him feels like running a mile: Hard fucking work. The man has a way to look at life most of us can only dream of, and experiences that just shine through him. It takes a lot to become a man like him, and I'd haul around balls too if that could turn me into one.

Not only did he handle Candy for me for the next leg, he also explained to me how Canada has become what it is, and what to expect while heading east. He also made it was to capture his Honda the way that is apparently a theme here in Canada now.

I do not understand why every photo I take here includes a porta potty now, here is a Civic and a car.

Anyway, the three Canadians I've truly waited to meet in person have been met. All three have done their best to ruin this whole trip for me by exceeding all my expectations. If anyone has a horrible aunt or an uncle in the east that could balance things out for me, please contact me. I am getting sick of this worshiping thing!

Off we went to the City known as Teemu Selanne city. Locals insist it's Winnipeg but who uses names like that anyway.

Nothing happened on the road, if we forget the town with the worst name in the history of names.

Indian Head - The progressive town of the prairie - is their slogan. Attractions listed are Indian Head Museum (skulls anyone?) and Country Club. I do hope the town is not counting on tourists for income.

I had fun and fast miles in between meals. A year in the USA, and now getting real food again, and milk that tastes good, this my friends is a heaven. This was seen:

It is apparently the theme now. That and banks.

A beautiful sunset came and went while I tried to get petrol into the damn car.

I do love how the bugs get to the side windows too.

I do have one complaint. The bugs here are racists!

Here is locals car:

Those are not hits, those are decoration. Look at it, they make a Dodge look like a car! butterflies were all over the damn thing and then I went to see my car, I really wanted it to be looking as good, and this is my reality.

Not one butterfly! Racism I tell you!

Oh, actually, that picture of Peter could be a portrait of Myzmak too. I have to check later, the similarities are there.

Anna

Canada, hitting the prairie.

yesterday was probably the best driving day I will ever have. This all would be easier to explain if Canadians had bothered to give places names one could write or pronounce. Apparently Canadians and Polish has this in common. They really just run around adding letters in a name until they hit the limitations of human hand movements. Then they think really hard how to make it unpronounceable and there you go, the next pit stop is that place!


The age old method of copy paste will have to do. The place known as 1 was called Canmore. Yup, easy enough. I was expecting to get a name of a town from Myz nobody or their sister could feed into the satnav, and I was thoroughly disappointed.


Weirdly, the man who whips us with this keypad regularly had only one head, and as far as I counted, only two hands were present. Usually I'd use more words to describe a person, but in his case the lively conversation stole the show. Anyone who needs a hair tie should go meet Lucy though, I am now a proud owner of a pink tie that saved the night! I would go far enough as to claim that Iit is the most useful present I've ever gotten.

In real life, we two could never be friends. The man has no sense of style.  Here is a clear proof of it.

He actually said this is not a good shot, because portable toilets and M's should not mix. I on the other hand also spotted the trash can in the back, and thought it would nicely bring out our unique paints. Anna wins.

This is how he wanted to show you the cars, I'd say the mountains hold no candle to a toilet. 

Yup, I didn't even get the cars in frame. Mountains took all the space.

 Also, The pic taken by me from this angle is missing  a whole car, so even if in quantity of M's he wins, he truly did not understand the tedious details of photography. As said, we could never be friends in real life, mountain views and potties don't mix.

It was a true pleasure to get to meet the man who has brought so many laughs into long and boring days. As for his tasteless car goes, that is probably the most beautiful M3 out there.
 
The second place is unpronounceable. I am still, even after finding the city sure our dear Myz was just adding letters in a row until he ran out. It has been seen before, the man messes with idiots better than most people tie their shoe laces.


From 1, I headed towards 2. Saskatoon really can't be a name. The state I'm currently in I won't even try to write.

That's the thing with Canada. They lure you in by naming something Alberta, and then when you're too far gone to back down: Boom! A border and the longest name ever given.

Oh well, this all is quite acceptable, after having the miles I did last night. After making sure a word idiot is used if he ever tries to describe me to anyone, and after he had gotten the name of the place number two into the satnav, it was indeed time to hit the road.


"We make sure your cards and accounts stay safe 24/7. We take our responsibility seriously and provide protection to...."

Yup, cards. Love them all. You know you've lost a piece of your sanity, in my case probably the last one I had, when seeing this text is a photo opportunity you take:

After a brief 45 minute phone call to the bank, AGAIN, and after filling him up, it was a long drive towards the city number two. I need to upload all the pictures, but here is a preview. I truly don't get why on earth you guys worship mountains with boring wide roads, when you have all this so damn close by. It was indeed the drive of my life.

 after that shot, I had the wonderful opportunity to examine my entry speeds and exit speeds, and to have a stern talk with myself about what not to do again.

Dust in the back. I have missed that so damn much one paintjob was not to be considered. Weird, but it handles that terrain pretty well.

A Kia in AY. Epic.

I mean how would mountains win?

I had time, there was a finnish flag in the back.

The beauty seen in the next few hundred km's was something else. Long straights and bendy twisty gravel parts. For the first time ever Peter was driven on a terrain I'm more familiar with, and I'm happy to report I only almost crashed him once. I'd be waiting on a tow truck there now had I tabbed the brakes. I hate to say this but I would've deserved that fate.



For the first time ever, I beat candy on the way here. I swear to coffee she takes away 30% of all arrival estimations for me to see if I can make it. I beat him by over an hour, and that has never, ever happened before.



now, off to a lunch with the member of our tiny community who is actually responsible for me sticking around in the forums originally.



updating later about the minor issues faced last night, damn Canada has the same law enforcement method used back home.


Anna

Calgary.

Oh fucking hell I hate banks. I had a lovely time getting petrol and getting the damn car through a car wash.


after writing the last entry, I've been on the phone. Every damn time any of my American cards that have just been reactivated, they all get cancelled again. So Calgary will go down in my books of history as the city that provided me the place to be on the phone. A lot.


sure, everything Finnish works just perfectly, but some idiot has forgotten their pin, so they won't help if no cashier is present, and if nobody has told you all: Canada is a fucking huge country, and when traveling through the remote areas, you don't have the option of many stations at any given location.


"I'm sorry Ms, we are trying to sort this out. Yes we are aware you've made a traveling plan and yes, it says here you are doing it by a car. Yes, yes, Canada."


...


"I'm sorry Ms, we are trying to sort this out. Yes we are aware you've made a traveling plan and yes, it says here you are doing it by a car. Yes, yes, Canada. I assure you, this won't happen again."
...


"I'm sorry Ms, we are trying to sort this out. Yes we are aware you've made a traveling plan and yes, it says here you are doing it by a car. Yes, yes, Canada."


I am starting to think the bank is actually testing my durability in repeating my words word by word.


Off I went. Nothing got sorted. I don't dare to use the American credit cards, since with my luck my family back home would starve to death with no ways to access any funds. Also, since this is car related trip, I would prefer keeping all statements from the hubby. I doubt he's going to be very happy reading from my explorations from a cc bill.


anyway, this is going as well as all my travels have gone before. The hard work put into washing the damn car was just ruined by a tiny, minuscule rain.


Off to meet Myzmak, the comedian of our F8x generation.

Canada, First drive.

"Socrates said an unexamined life isn't worth living. Aristotle said an unplanned life isn't worth examining. Anna says fuck Socrates and Aristotle too."


- M4TW about my minor issues yesterday.

The philosopher of bimmerpost has spoken.


Since everything was going so well, so well indeed that no hotel room could be found and it was still early (1am), I hit the pavement instead of a bed. My plan was to drive for a few hours, and find a camping ground, but since Calgary wasn't too far away, and driving at night is more fun, I decided to hit that little town straight away.

Things I should've learned by now are a long list, but as a new addition informing your bank about traveling if using American banks was now added. It didn't occur to me, Finnish cards work where ever I go. Naturally I had forgotten the pin code of it so that made the night extra fun.

The theme of the summer seems to be me almost running out of petrol. Fucking hell (Sorry) I did it twice last night. The first one went well, no cellphone coverage to get the damn bank on the phone, the pump didn't accept cash so waiting for an other client to show up to the secluded station was the way to do it.

yeah, fun. Nearest station 30 km away.

An hour went by. It was clear Canadians sleep through the night as most normal people tend to. A truck driver pulled over, gave me a lecture about not getting eaten by bears, and off I went again.

The next three hours were spent on trying to explain to a stupid bank, who's customer I am not going to be after returning home that PEOPLE DO FUCKING TAKE OFF, AND WHO THE FUCK DO THEY THINK THEY ARE IF A CLIENT HAS TO GET AN APPROVAL TO THEIR TRAVELING PLANS FROM THEM. I don't have a bloody plan was too difficult of an answer again to them and we had to do this song and dance four fucking times!

At the next pump I did the same damn call, again. third fill up was my favorite since the pump free was diesel, and I didn't expect any of my cards to work so I tested that. The faces of a few locals were priceless, I bet they will tell the story of the blondie trying to pump diesel to an M for all eternity.

It was a beautiful drive. A sunrise in the mountains always is, but this one was ruined by my minor monetary crises. I had a few hundred Canadian dollars left from buying the computer, but it was clear more phone time with the bank was needed to get everything sorted. I am never rude to any customer service people. This time though, after the fourth time all cards were locked again, I was in the point of explosion.


no grizzlies, a few goats, more issues, Peter started to act up by insisting I wasn't wearing a seatbelt and mountains.

sunrise was beautiful.

No idea what happened here, but it's a quality shot as mine always are.

I have new words for this song thanks to a bank... A mountain can be seen.

A mountain. I got asked to take pics of these, so here they are. Btw, I fucking hate mountains.

Mountains. If the one who made the request says the M word one more time, I will poison his coffee in NJ.

Who gives a fuck about some stupid rock formations. Get over it!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHH! I hate you all.

Yup. It was perfection to the point of pain. Honestly, the drive is beautiful, but I truly advice handling minor issues such as money beforehand. That kind of killed the drive.

Turns out, Calgary also is a busy place during the summer. When I finally made it here, I couldn't have cared less where the hotel was. A beer, bed, a rude wakeup text a few hours later to finish the post about Vancouver, then to write up the next night, and I ran away to get some food to get away from the task. That went well. I spent the night talking hockey and rally.

I truly do think Canadians are English on drugs. Damn people are nice and open and always ready to talk about things with importance like what if orthopedic surgery had been on today's standards when Bobby Orr got hurt. I'd say that's a topic you don't have to cover in the USA. I also got credit for blending in almost perfectly, Canadians actually do enjoy life as it comes, instead of the way you see across the boarder.

Also, even in a sports bar ( I went there to write this) you can spot something truly rare on the other side of the border.

Meat tasted like meat, chicken tasted like chicken, and the green stuff truly was a salad.  I might have been a teeny bit hungry.

Happened at breakfast too! Canada is spoiling me rotten!

Yup, the last mountain. Today I hit the road again, and I assume no more of these or my bank has to be endured. Fuckers.

Canada day number one wrapped up. I love it here!

Anna

Vancouver, a hard place to get to...

I have waited for this day for so long. Damn sil visiting ruined all fun for all summer, and to finally get away was needed badly. For the last week I kept packing stuff so I wouldn't forget anything important this time around.

I was informed I can go about two minutes after daddy came home. Says a lot about how much fun I've been lately, and apparently ketchup will be bought to the house because mom is away. Party on, but destroy evidence before I come back, a good lesson to learn before teenage hits.

Somebody just fucking take the exit and let me have the road!

The drive through Washington was as much fun as it is always. I practiced how to tell the nice border guards again, that this is my chosen method for a holiday, and ended up repeating it to five times, while Peter was searched, again. I had a chat with one of them told him I need to start lying about having a pedicure appointment in Vancouver, and he said that probably would be more believable.

But in I got. I still wonder what on earth would go through in the smugglers head if his/hers chosen ride was an M4, with modifications and with a yellow paint. Oh well, Canadians are good at spotting trouble makers as experienced later.

People always say making a good first impression is important. I do believe they are right, but the opposite approach is more my cup of bland Canadian coffee.

Anonymity is important for us freaks of internet, so let's call my first contact to Canadians (if we exclude the border hounds)Tara so nobody can recognize her.

I texted her from my way up that there is slight issues with our night's plan. Issues being me forgetting to bring shoes or a laptop, or a phone charger and a few more minor details. She was kind enough to sort me out to a store, she was extremely patient while I lost my shit to our bank who is the killer of all joy and then off went.

She took photos since my quality jobs posted had not impressed her that much previously. She also took me to see shacks build by Finns a long ago, and they all had chopped wood in front of them. It might be a run down tiny village there, but they sure still have saunas! You can take a Finn away from Finland, but even years and generations won't take our love for sauna away.

It was a hilarious sight. We keep sauna tradition on even if moving a bit. I'm building myself one in the autumn!

A shot clearly not taken by me.

My minor issues in missing footwear and me being so late it's a miracle she still agreed to meet me made sure dinner options were running thin. As she is a local, she wanted to show me a really cool place, a night market. I forgot to take pictures as usual so nothing to show, but as an experience it was a great one.


Since it was getting late, we spent an hour looking for hotels with a room with zero results. After the sil's visit I couldn't dream of imposing on her so she took me to get coffee from a legendary Canadian joint called McDonald's, the man in charge said I was trouble and gave me a wonderful new car I donated to Tara, and off I went to the night.

I've said this before, buy I get really lucky with people. Tara is a great example of a person anyone should be glad to have as a friend and a solid tourist guide too.Vancouver area has never been so appealing as it was in her company.

Did indeed happen, legendary Canadian coffee, and a brand new car.

Sorry, I forgot to take pics of Vancouver, I did however do a good job on the road with a camera.

Anna

Canada.

Tomorrow is the day. I finally get to leave Washington again, and go eat dust on the roads. After hours on the phone I got my phone to work there, my navigational issues have been handled to perfection by me looking at a map and closing the tab fast.


I truly am sure Peter will be the first F8x to hit north pole by accident. That, and meeting my Canadian friends will be a great ending to this summer. Bimmerfest is an extra if I make it that far.


So three weeks of going nuts again. The first leg has to be fast, but at least I have the right car for that. ;)


kids told me they are happy I'm leaving. Apparently I've been a horrible person for weeks. "mom, you need to go. You're almost as uptight as grandma. Handle it."


my first step is Vancouver. I've been waiting to meet the other female of our forum for a long, long time, and she is granting me a tour of Vancouver tomorrow. Tara: I can't wait to see what it is like to talk about cars with a female. I fear it will be scariest conversation of all times, since as a Canadian, you know actual words and I'm still calling engines thingies, transmissions right or wrong, and anything more difficult than tire pressures use abt all my brain function to follow the conversation.


I'm expecting an other success story to my list of epic but weird road trips. After this one is done, many things in my real life will change. It is time for the road to deliver the answer as to what those will be.






sorry Canada, here I come.


Anna