Friends.

Since we moved here, I've complained endlessly about the school runs, the people here, the attitude towards others, traffic, the lack of social awareness, my neighbors... You name it, I have hated.

I've made a few good friends here, but none of them involves kids. As you may have figured out, I'm really strict. I give guidelines and by obeying those, freedom is gained. For example, my kids in parks know where I am, they check in, and go about finding their ways. I do not help them climb, and I won't fetch them, the best I will do is that I tell them kindly they fucked up.

To most here in the land of over protecting, this all is too dangerous. I see it the other way around. I see it like this: If a kid doesn't learn early on to mind their own limits, I will never see them growing up.

A big difference. A huge cap. So, let's say my daughter mentions her best friend in every sentence of hers?

Sure, the mother knows me, we've become fast friends. But knowing this huge cap in the culture of parenting and she has witnessed it often, would she let her bride and joy to spend the morning with us? Normally I would not have asked, but there is a limit to how many times a name can be mentioned before mom texts to the other.

She knows me. She knows what I drive, how I see the world, hell, she knows that I see my kids in the parks only while near water, or when the need to pee hits.

My English is far from perfect. My attitude is not suitable for Washington. Our way of life is not seen as the perfect way, since we come as we are.

What my first born does: she finds us friends we can talk to, relate to, have conversations with.

You and I would think the dad would have more sense, but no. A real kid was released to spend time with us.

As this blogs last post in this topic,( next one will be the last weekend) The last parenting related post: The tips of the day are, remember these:

1. Find the parents you can truly like. Find the ones who see different ways and value the lessons learned. (I don't do hero worshiping, but she is a foot shorter than I, but packs so much guts I will not live through it if I piss her off)

2. Dads are the followers at best. They do as WE tell them to, because none of them want to piss us off.

So, back to my day. Kids up, feed them, the weather sucks so don't promise the best friend will be available, text the mom.

"she's so excited, yeah, go get her!".

I truly mean it when I say it, but she made my day, not the kid. She knows how I drive, hows I parent, hell, she is an actual friend of mine and still she lets me steal her kiddo! :D

The dad had the whole daddy bear routine down, schedules and all, but even he was fine with our two cultures mixing. That I see as the new landmark of culture sensitive parenting. (also, their daughter was apparently told by my girl that eating without a knife in your hand is wrong, so it took a sec to explain that mac and cheese can be a spoon only food!)

If they ever are stuck with my kids, I can only hope mine will act as well.

Now, here are all the pictures of my kids and their and cars day I could capture:

Yeah, children were around, I am sure.

To say meeting the parents was a relief is an understatement. I mean, real people in the USA? In Washington? Shock. :D

Anna

The last attempt to write up Yellowstone.

 This has been harder to write than any other update in this damn blog. It's time to go big or go home so fuck it, I'll start from the beginning again and work on my vocabulary as we go.

So, this is Peter's life. School runs, and trying to match the other school buses  with his color. He is not blending in any better than I've hoped, and I do admit enjoying that more than anyone should.

I got shouted for jumping out and taking this shot, so I love it more than any shot ever before!

The journey to Yellowstone was quiet at times. We enjoyed nice conversations held by a well rested person in the car, kids were reading and pumped up on motion sickness drugs. We covered the miles with me listening to music all the time I was not needed for correcting some misinformation floating around in the car, and naturally going through the rules on how to handle different animals if encountered.  I also made sure everybody got fed before the night fell, and we settled for the serious miles.From the last time, I had prepared for the last 100 miles to take almost 3 hours because of animals and fog, so I was surprised more than anyone to realize we got there at 5.30 am.

Now, things I can not stress enough are: Do not speak to me before I've had my coffee. After a night like that one above, I needed an hour of sleep before hiking from place to place, so we went to the tent hotel first. I wanted a quiet hour, got 20 minutes, I asked the restaurants waiter who brought me coffee to marry me, he said his boyfriend doesn't approve, I got coffee, off we went. 

As mentioned before in the last post, tired truly doesn't work in a family trip. The reasons NOT to be tired in one are listed below.

First, hubby turned into an idiot. I fucking hell do not ever want to hear an other lecture about a bison pooping in the back of a selfie, and trust me, he tried to take one or two  that day. I got the closest one, and you might see I was a bit tired too. I'm adding this pic here just as a reminder never, ever to do this again.

Bison's ass on the right. he was indeed pooping and that's the smile I use in the funerals of relatives, the spouse was at that point going to be the next main character.

So tired, oh so tired. Kids never bother me, and I actually love telling them all the facts they want to know, I make assumptions and let them know they are those. I love seeing them learn and I can not stand them getting facts wrong, fun when someone else does the same thing too. not so much if the person talking  never pauses to think what they are saying next, now, or ever... a long ass day. 

I mean I tell you guys as lot. I got a few good hits with a man who used his belt to keep me from removing him from the apartment of one of my cases. I saw that as a funny incident since I wasn't ready to handle it. I fucked up. Me getting beaten up even a little? On me. my fault. It is really a good thing for me to learn to admit finally that I do fuck up. Well, here it is: I truly fucked up with this trip. So badly actually the minor episode of the nice man is not going to even make to the top of my list of fuckups of this summer. I keep picturing it still, a week later why I did this to myself and how on earth I still am surprised we all lived through it. No answers yet.

 

Now, At this point I smeared bacon  grease in clothes of those who made this trip harder for me to get the bears to handle it all for me. Yellowstone is apparently full of them? no. it is not.

Now, since this more of a parenting tip post, here are a list of things you do not want to happen.

Do not let a three year old go to a raging river with anyone else but the people who have protected him all his life. Just don't. Nobody else will be able to understand that when they ask for help, they mean it.

Let's spot the shirts line.

a tree turned into stone. Nobody else cares but you.

Bring leashes if you don't want your dogs enjoying a  squirrel hunt in the worlds most famous national park. Rabies (jr) did indeed enjoy snow though, Kissa was more reserved.

Things you do not do list is a long one, but here is a description of our long standing family tradition. We call it the moment both parents short circuit at once.

It's always innocent. It starts off fine. Either I command action instead of waiting and planning and with the input of the redneck (see the pick above, he can not be in the sun) I married, or just me doing all of it to us, we end up in situations normal people never see. Example 1. 

"I'm really, really pregnant, and it's a week after the due date, hey let's go to the summer house a hundred miles away from our hospital we live next to. What on earth could happen?"

Yeah, we hurried back the same night. the kiddo stopped hurrying after we got back. I'm not very bitter, but I'm going to do my best to ruin his life.

Example 2: We live in Seattle. We are going to the ocean. we are doing it now. We drove for two hours, found the sea, sadly we ended up in a trailer park, it was 11 C outside ( 52 F americans), I refused to leave the car, and the fog was so thick I had to guide the family back to the car after they got lost. Fun times.

Example 3: "Fuck it, I am not waiting around or driving back the easy and safe way, we are going to take this tiny lane our cars navigation, or any of the three phones here can't find. It'll be faster since it's shorter, and I know what I'm doing!"

Yeah,, it took us back to the tents. It also was the slowest road ever since unlike many think, a Q7 has zero offroad capabilities.  Show it gravel, and enjoy the AWD. right. The mass of the car makes it move like nothing else, and I truly do not mean this as a compliment. The weirdo in me truly missed peter. Even if I would've had to spend the night evening out the bumps on the road, he would've beaten the SUV. I've said it before, but it is indeed the worst attempt to make a useable car for those with lives ever.

So there we were, somewhere. Night was closing in, no ideas when or if the road would lead us to a main one. The only thing the Audi kicks the ass of Peter is her lights. She keeps them up or down as told, no adaptive too wide bs. The climbs were steep, the drops were also, I almost crashed her twice since the gear box even set to the "manual" settings is slow and unpredictable.

Hubby approved this shortcut since a pooping bear was not captured as an image yet. No pooping or any furry shit of any kind was seen if we don't count the two men who told us 3 miles before the end of the road that yes, it does connect to an other.

At least this sight was seen after we made it out of the woods:

Wah, cows. learn how to take the important shots.

I got a garden chair as a bed. I was tired  enough to be happy with that.

Yes, they came because nobody could take my spoiled pups.

I truly do not know what was worse: driving the ringed one, or doing it in a place you'd want to be driving an Imprezza. coffee stains as usual can be seen.

Last time it was fuck yourself, this time around I was too tired for insults. Written in the exact same spot might I add as his last avatar was. I was honored to see him using this.

Touristy shit.

On our way back the theme in the car was pretty much the same, happy chatting from one, or then she did this, again.

Has anyone told you family road trips with small kids is a good idea? No? Above is the reasons why.

It took me a week to get this post sorted. That is how many traumas needed to be sorted out before anything remotely funny could be found from it. Selfies, or in my case hubby taking a pic with a pooping buffalo in the back. Sometimes ending up in jail for murder can be seen as the better option, even in the eyes of a pacifist like I.

Yellowstone part I

As indicated in the last post, I seriously have issues with planning. I've known and loved too many people who spend their life waiting for stuff that is in the end taken away from them because time passes and life changes or ends. As usual, my method of handling their ways is to do everything the exact opposite way.


So once again I test my family with my way of fuck it, lets wing it way of thinking. This first part can be used as an educational story for those who actually think my way works.


I have the coolest family in the world. They love stupid stuff and they are always up for a challenge. They also know from our history that we thrive in the times of disaster and come out stronger.


Okay, family trained. Good for me! Let's throw in a sister-in-law who has been distant always and who at best has spent a few hours with the kids in the parks. Let's say she is staying with us for the whole summer and let's say she is very, very conservative.


The things you do not do when a visitor is in your house is plan a long road trip and book a tent instead of a hotel and just ask if she wants to go, and load up the car. Oh well, mistake number one right there.


It gives me great pleasure to tell you, that on our 1 200 km (750 hamburger units) I needed a nap and let the hubby drive for 200km (abt 130 mac and cheese) had no sleep, got there and we both were tired. The sil was extremely well rested. Kids were okay and we got the tents early. Parents to beds, sil looking after the kids, dogs sleeping with us. "give us an hour, we'll be ready to move then."


you see, the thing is one expects too much. As a parent you think anyone knows not to give a kiddo a protein bar before breakfast. You expect the people around you to know how a life works and then you end up being surprised when you realize you are screwed from the 8 am wakeup until night fall.


When tired I tend to cut corners. I do my best to anticipate situations and see what is coming. I take my time explaining new stuff to the kids to make sure no nightmares are going to happen, and I feed them well to ensure a long night will be ahead.


Now, let's add an outsider to the mix, and we can see where this is going.


No, I fucking did not sleep on this trip. I spent my time explaining why someone would not know an egg wouldn't boil faster when we are in that altitude even if boiled in a geyser.




I could go on, but I think you get the picture. Not a happy camper.


I married a truly smart man. He knows how much it means to me to let the kids run around and how much I value them learning by themselves. He also is very well aware of my lack of planning getting us into situations most would see as disasters and usually he gets us free and clear of them. This time around he was jet lagged from a business trip, and the night spent awake was not helping. He ended up having the first ever verbal diarrhea attack he has had in our 10+ years together. So. I was stuck with kids and explaining to them the sil even while she is wrong in everything is an adult and they have to respect her and arguing is okay, but coming to mom and saying "mom I don't really think she is that smart" is not the way to go.


So, a hubby trying to take selfies with a bison pooping in the back, kids going insane because they are like I, are bad at taking bs (this case no bull needed, lets use a bison) and me?


I am a very lucky in so many ways. Someone called me out for being a spoiled house wife and I couldn't deny it. Seriously, sure my hobbies are rough but in the end of the day I drive off in my M and my biggest issue of the night is to get one kid out of Wikipedia and an other from making me calculate the dinosaur poop amounts made by them in a day.


A spoiled bitch in a world that needs a lot of explaining, so tired every small and huge thing done wrong is a reason for a murder. You might know where the next entry is going to end up in.

Repeat and regret.

A bright idea came to me today. Since the ankle is better, all my projects are screwed anyway, why not take the family with my lovely sister-in-law to Yellowstone?!




I do not know what happened to me to say this all out loud, and I actually regret this whole thing already. There is no, no way I can survive the drive there in our Audi, and since we'd leave this Thursday and be back on Monday, I am currently hoping for a tragic death or a mild Ebola.




After mentioning this, and then I still toyed with the idea of taking two cars to the trip, I realized just how badly thought out this was. It took me about 12 hours to drive there. With a family on board, I'd probably be a third slower and with a sleeping family on board it will not be as much as I had then. Also, my minor control issues ensure I won't be able to let anyone else to drive my puppies such a long way.




I'm willing to bet this trip will make all the rest for the summer planned and unplanned so, soo much sweeter.




Ready, set, let's go, Audi with family coming!


if anyone has any good bugs to donate, please share. I'd take a diarrhea over what will be in my future.


Don't get me wrong. I love my life. Every damn day here is weirder than the last and I truly enjoy every moment. Even my projects are something that makes me truly happy. Yellowstone would be an epic way to spend a weekend with a biology puff family, if it was 30 minutes away. 16 hours in a car will probably be about 15.5 too much and I expect my sister-in-law will do her best to fill the time with a lot of happy chatting.






Anna

California meet trip

I left home around 9pm, the goal was to avoid all traffic and drive through Oregon at least before morning. After getting out of this police infested state of Washington, it was after midnight, and cussing had begun.

I drive in the dark a lot. It for me is the best way to clear my head and rethink things  that have gone wrong, and usually also to admit myself I could've done something better. This time around the big issues were the nice bruises on my legs gotten because I am getting old and slow in protecting myself. The ankle I hurt a few years back really is not helping, but to be honest, I need to stop using that as an excuse and go back into self defense classes.

One of the smaller ones.

I've complained all damn winter about the damn adaptive headlights that I find extremely dangerous without the coding. I've had numerous opportunities to fix it. I did nothing as usual. This is a story of stupidity.

I got all the way to Oregon. After the slow and painful drive through Washington, I was looking forward to the fast bits in the countryside. A truck threw something on my way, and since I was passing him by way slower than my usual speed, I got a nice hit and take the blame. You do not pass them that slowly if you love your car, damn it!

A few millimeters higher, and I would've been done.

I pulled over, cussed like a sailor, checked every damn inch of the car, cussed some more, checked nothing was leaking and off we went again. It was a big enough hit to rip off my lips lower part off. I took this so well that Sam lend me his spare one to stop me from talking about it again.

My usual traveling agent was busy by the time I got to California. That went well as usual also, since Candy (the satnav lady) and I had had some words, she shut up unlike me, and well, here is all the pictures from my adventures in the damn place.

No idea how that picture was taken, but that was indeed the only one I had.

Hotel found, shower, and this was the point of realizing I had all the clothes for Canada with me, and nothing for the climate I was in. I had pants that were years old, and a two T shirts. A dress so ugly a cop told me once it is giving him migraine and he told me to take off. A reason I often wear it to faster runs.

I bravely made my way to Mode Carbons quarters somewhere in the city. It only took about a million wrong turns, and at that point I had been up for over 36 hours straight. No english came out, and to be fair, I looked like shit, car was worse and the boys were very polite.

They cleaned my car, put me a new lip on, got me milk, and as a thanks I tried to kill them with too spicy food. I think it went well!

A lesson in marketing Sam: Girls like cleaning men, and  small dogs. Because of this shot you are now excused from the bikini shoot!

These blue cars are always in the way of the perfect shot!   

I was so helpful they told me to sit down and shut up. I did as told for 5 seconds.

I've dealt with a lot of shitheads when cars are related. Men with the patience of these two never. I do highly recommend them to anyone and even if cleaning cars is not in their usual customer service, they did a job so good I will probably never see him so shiny again. Thank you for everything guys, if you are ever in my corner, let me know and I will not cook you.


After the attempted murder, and realizing I have no recollection on which hotel I left my stuff, off I went again. I found it, went in, woke up. I'm sure it had a bed in it.

The next morning a lovely man named Jose gave me enough coffee to make me shaky and told me where Peter is parked. He also told me it was going to be a hot day, so I might want to reconsider wearing jeans and my only T shirt. having no options helped in not listening to him.

The meet was the usual car meet thing. We went through the modifications each of us had, we talked about cars, stood around, everyone got sun burns. It was a sauna. After hours of hoping to die, I got the best offer anyone has ever gotten. "You can go into the back seat of my car and change into the dress".

An F80, done right. God I love Tristan's tints.

To meet a female car enthusiast in a meet, and to get to use her boy as a dressing room, the best things in life. I'm so glad we exchanged contact information, since Kristi you are now on my list of angels for all eternity. Also I think your car was in the class of its own. Just Thank you.

Apparently there were too many white cars on the right for me to try to fit them into the photo. no need to make my friend feel better about his colorless life.

After the meet we went for a drive, at this point my phone had also had enough of California, so no pics were taken. I was set to head to cooler climate the second it was over.

Things one needs to know about California: There are nothing else to see but grass. the whole state is one mess of farms artificially watered plants and more grass. There are a few cars, a few houses, badly treated cows and more damn grass. I'm never wrong, so Stay away.

Milk is the same as here in the north. Points for that but sadly it can't be drank there because dehydration got my system so off.

On the way back home the biggest events were coffee stains everywhere, him over heating, which in his case shows as warning lights for various stuff. The usual no seatbelt, no oil lights came on so many times I spent more time parked than on the road and a former gangbanger fixing a stone from the heat shield with me. It was an interesting to chat with a man who's life has been so different from my own. If he happens to read this, please Email me. I'd like to keep hearing about your life.

This is how you know you're in Washington. Thanks boys, it was a great five minutes of my life.

For fucks sake...

Peter did hit 30 000 km on the trip. Happy times together will continue.

I made lunch, went for a nap and woke up this morning. I'd say this was three days with a lot of miles and absolutely no brains were used at any point. Oh well, it was fun anyway!

Oh, as a new feature for this blog, I've decided to share my most idiotic comments on situations they are not meant to be said. This can serve as a warning to those who meet me in the future.

 California was indeed a dry spell for me, since pure dehydration killed me. No brain function was left.

Sam asked me " you really don't like small dogs huh?"

"Meh, a little garlic and a few hours of roasting, those tiny bones will melt in your mouth."

I do know how to make friends.

A man in the hotel asked me if that was my car.

"The bimmer? No, it's not, mine is a yellow Prius. Hubby just put different badges on it."

A hotel manager asked how I slept. I just draw a blank, he asked again how was my bed.

"There was a bed?"

Wah (from the forum asked me where I was)

"How the fuck would I know, that's your job!"

And of course a recycled one. A woman hit a deer on my way back in front of me. I pulled over, and checked out the animal to make sure it was dead, and then put the car into the condition she could drive away. She was panicking and asked me after stopping screaming "What do we do now"

As said, I'm an idiot. "um, do you have garlic" came out. She drove away before saying an other word and she might be a little scared of us BMW drivers now.

The last one was epic though.

I stopped for coffee and a stone in the heat shield. I was fixing it and this guy with three tears on the cheek came to help me. We talked for a while and I asked him if the legend about those are true. He said yes. I asked if I should be scared. "If I said yes, would you be?"

"Meh, you're a pussy without a gun and this is North West dude"

"Well Anna, the last persons to call me that are buried but you are just too fucking nuts even to die so we fix a car, and you drink coffee and life goes on"

"K, and when they catch you, I'll send you pics of my car you can look at in jail while wanking."

I mean... Brains are dead, I should just shut up.
Anna


Oh, let it be known that from here on MR Richie from our bimmerpost world is the perfect man. The prettiest, the most intellectual, tallest, best, nicest, just above everyone else and everyone.

He did the perfect deed to get this title, so this can not be disputed by anyone. He is, indeed, perfect.

Demanding preparations.

The whole spring has been truly stressful. The last week I reached my level.

On Wednesday my dear sister-in-law moved in with us for her summer vacation. She is a teacher so she gets two months off. She choose to spend her time with us, and a minor miscommunication in the schedules got me a surprise visit indeed.

After catching up for hours on Wednesday, doing my normal family stuff plus a driving school for her on Thursday, it was time for me to spend some time with pavement. I may have gone more into details about this all on the forum.

Rabies Alfonso, a Jack Russell of mine.

Kissa, our puppy with issues with food.

In my usual organized way, I had a backpack for Canada already packed, and since I was merely trying to get out of town before my head exploded, I took it instead of the just packed one and left. Great idea all around.

Tires I checked, I went through my usual checkup list for things Peter might need, and as usual, I left everything home except the keys to our other car, so the SIL had a nice time walking the kids and the dogs everywhere. Not my greatest moment, but not as bad as results as usual.

I had toyed with the idea of crashing a meet in LA. Mainly because I was bored, but since a sitter was available, and I had indeed reached my limit in catching up  it was time to leave.

BTW, People are welcome to my house as long as they melt into the life. I don't mind my friends coming in, emptying the garage, fixing their cars. They tell me to cook, I do. we talk. I don't have to entertain anyone, I can do my usual shit. Hell, most of my social life happens while I walk the dogs, since people know I'm a loner most of the time.

Then there are the ones who stop the whole life and I can't get away. Do not ever be that guest in my life. Do stuff with us, but there is no way I have the time to sit and drink coffee while standing still.

And after wednesday, I have to say. Less words is more, And get to the point. What ever it is, get to it. If you don't I'll find myself from California or something worse.

Beginning of summer 2015

As promised to my idiot friends, here it is!

It's been a long and extremely hard winter. Peter spent a lot of time in the garage due to life. Now its time to let go again, Anna style as usual.

This summer I doubt I can get a month off, but I do have the time to make a few milk runs. Planning will be perfected in the style of the last trip as you'll see from the first trips entry.
So, a car. A driver. Miles and in the end of day this blog with probably alcohol. The ones who read the last one will know how bad this will again be.

m4trip.blogspot.com was the first. This I hope will be more English, less fuckups, and maybe without me going all sad about life left behind. That trip was needed in so many levels and I understood much about myself. I don't regret sharing it for one bit, and I made great friends on the road.

Summer 2015. In my words will follow.

Here he is, all shiny and polished. Ready for adventures.

This time around it's all fun and running away.

I need to take a beer to Canada, and get a photo of a bear, that's it. The rest is fair game.

Lups