California meet trip

I left home around 9pm, the goal was to avoid all traffic and drive through Oregon at least before morning. After getting out of this police infested state of Washington, it was after midnight, and cussing had begun.

I drive in the dark a lot. It for me is the best way to clear my head and rethink things  that have gone wrong, and usually also to admit myself I could've done something better. This time around the big issues were the nice bruises on my legs gotten because I am getting old and slow in protecting myself. The ankle I hurt a few years back really is not helping, but to be honest, I need to stop using that as an excuse and go back into self defense classes.

One of the smaller ones.

I've complained all damn winter about the damn adaptive headlights that I find extremely dangerous without the coding. I've had numerous opportunities to fix it. I did nothing as usual. This is a story of stupidity.

I got all the way to Oregon. After the slow and painful drive through Washington, I was looking forward to the fast bits in the countryside. A truck threw something on my way, and since I was passing him by way slower than my usual speed, I got a nice hit and take the blame. You do not pass them that slowly if you love your car, damn it!

A few millimeters higher, and I would've been done.

I pulled over, cussed like a sailor, checked every damn inch of the car, cussed some more, checked nothing was leaking and off we went again. It was a big enough hit to rip off my lips lower part off. I took this so well that Sam lend me his spare one to stop me from talking about it again.

My usual traveling agent was busy by the time I got to California. That went well as usual also, since Candy (the satnav lady) and I had had some words, she shut up unlike me, and well, here is all the pictures from my adventures in the damn place.

No idea how that picture was taken, but that was indeed the only one I had.

Hotel found, shower, and this was the point of realizing I had all the clothes for Canada with me, and nothing for the climate I was in. I had pants that were years old, and a two T shirts. A dress so ugly a cop told me once it is giving him migraine and he told me to take off. A reason I often wear it to faster runs.

I bravely made my way to Mode Carbons quarters somewhere in the city. It only took about a million wrong turns, and at that point I had been up for over 36 hours straight. No english came out, and to be fair, I looked like shit, car was worse and the boys were very polite.

They cleaned my car, put me a new lip on, got me milk, and as a thanks I tried to kill them with too spicy food. I think it went well!

A lesson in marketing Sam: Girls like cleaning men, and  small dogs. Because of this shot you are now excused from the bikini shoot!

These blue cars are always in the way of the perfect shot!   

I was so helpful they told me to sit down and shut up. I did as told for 5 seconds.

I've dealt with a lot of shitheads when cars are related. Men with the patience of these two never. I do highly recommend them to anyone and even if cleaning cars is not in their usual customer service, they did a job so good I will probably never see him so shiny again. Thank you for everything guys, if you are ever in my corner, let me know and I will not cook you.


After the attempted murder, and realizing I have no recollection on which hotel I left my stuff, off I went again. I found it, went in, woke up. I'm sure it had a bed in it.

The next morning a lovely man named Jose gave me enough coffee to make me shaky and told me where Peter is parked. He also told me it was going to be a hot day, so I might want to reconsider wearing jeans and my only T shirt. having no options helped in not listening to him.

The meet was the usual car meet thing. We went through the modifications each of us had, we talked about cars, stood around, everyone got sun burns. It was a sauna. After hours of hoping to die, I got the best offer anyone has ever gotten. "You can go into the back seat of my car and change into the dress".

An F80, done right. God I love Tristan's tints.

To meet a female car enthusiast in a meet, and to get to use her boy as a dressing room, the best things in life. I'm so glad we exchanged contact information, since Kristi you are now on my list of angels for all eternity. Also I think your car was in the class of its own. Just Thank you.

Apparently there were too many white cars on the right for me to try to fit them into the photo. no need to make my friend feel better about his colorless life.

After the meet we went for a drive, at this point my phone had also had enough of California, so no pics were taken. I was set to head to cooler climate the second it was over.

Things one needs to know about California: There are nothing else to see but grass. the whole state is one mess of farms artificially watered plants and more grass. There are a few cars, a few houses, badly treated cows and more damn grass. I'm never wrong, so Stay away.

Milk is the same as here in the north. Points for that but sadly it can't be drank there because dehydration got my system so off.

On the way back home the biggest events were coffee stains everywhere, him over heating, which in his case shows as warning lights for various stuff. The usual no seatbelt, no oil lights came on so many times I spent more time parked than on the road and a former gangbanger fixing a stone from the heat shield with me. It was an interesting to chat with a man who's life has been so different from my own. If he happens to read this, please Email me. I'd like to keep hearing about your life.

This is how you know you're in Washington. Thanks boys, it was a great five minutes of my life.

For fucks sake...

Peter did hit 30 000 km on the trip. Happy times together will continue.

I made lunch, went for a nap and woke up this morning. I'd say this was three days with a lot of miles and absolutely no brains were used at any point. Oh well, it was fun anyway!

Oh, as a new feature for this blog, I've decided to share my most idiotic comments on situations they are not meant to be said. This can serve as a warning to those who meet me in the future.

 California was indeed a dry spell for me, since pure dehydration killed me. No brain function was left.

Sam asked me " you really don't like small dogs huh?"

"Meh, a little garlic and a few hours of roasting, those tiny bones will melt in your mouth."

I do know how to make friends.

A man in the hotel asked me if that was my car.

"The bimmer? No, it's not, mine is a yellow Prius. Hubby just put different badges on it."

A hotel manager asked how I slept. I just draw a blank, he asked again how was my bed.

"There was a bed?"

Wah (from the forum asked me where I was)

"How the fuck would I know, that's your job!"

And of course a recycled one. A woman hit a deer on my way back in front of me. I pulled over, and checked out the animal to make sure it was dead, and then put the car into the condition she could drive away. She was panicking and asked me after stopping screaming "What do we do now"

As said, I'm an idiot. "um, do you have garlic" came out. She drove away before saying an other word and she might be a little scared of us BMW drivers now.

The last one was epic though.

I stopped for coffee and a stone in the heat shield. I was fixing it and this guy with three tears on the cheek came to help me. We talked for a while and I asked him if the legend about those are true. He said yes. I asked if I should be scared. "If I said yes, would you be?"

"Meh, you're a pussy without a gun and this is North West dude"

"Well Anna, the last persons to call me that are buried but you are just too fucking nuts even to die so we fix a car, and you drink coffee and life goes on"

"K, and when they catch you, I'll send you pics of my car you can look at in jail while wanking."

I mean... Brains are dead, I should just shut up.
Anna


Oh, let it be known that from here on MR Richie from our bimmerpost world is the perfect man. The prettiest, the most intellectual, tallest, best, nicest, just above everyone else and everyone.

He did the perfect deed to get this title, so this can not be disputed by anyone. He is, indeed, perfect.